Soft Edges, Sharp Strength | Part 2: American Education

Culture Shock, Both Ways

The boarding school was small, isolated, and carried the conservative values of its region. For a queer Japanese teenager still finding his voice in English, it presented challenges he hadn't anticipated.

Language was just the beginning. Being openly gay wasn't an option - there were no openly gay students, and the comments by other students made it clear that visibility came with risks. "Maybe others were, but they kept it hidden. You had to."

Still, the school offered something Japan hadn't: a window into how differently students could behave. Coming from Japan's obedient, rule-following culture, Ken was struck by classmates who openly challenged authority, experimented with things that would be unthinkable back home, lived with a kind of freedom he'd never witnessed. "That school wasn't easy, but it widened my view of the world."

The Roommate

Junior year brought complications in the form of a new roommate. What started friendly quickly turned strange, then harmful. The roommate made advances Ken didn't want but couldn't seem to refuse. "It wasn't about language. I knew how to say 'no.' I just couldn't."

What followed was a series of small indignities. His roommate and friends would simply take the pizza he ordered to his room. Someone put soap in his shoes. 

When he finally told someone, word spread through the tiny school by next morning - there was nowhere to hide. The administration expelled the roommate, but the damage was done. The school counselor's advice? "Forget about it."

Not exactly the supportive environment you'd hope for, but Ken was learning something valuable: how to gauge situations, how to protect himself, and how to recognize the people who would actually stand by him.

Finding Ground

By senior year, something had shifted. Not dramatically, but steadily. Between college prep and weekend outings with his friends, he was discovering his own resilience.

"School stopped being everything," he says. "That actually helped me see it more clearly."

He may not have left Virginia with a picture-perfect high school experience, but he left with something more valuable: practiced strength. The kind that teaches you how to protect yourself, how to move through discomfort, how to stay standing when the ground shifts. Because it would shift again.

Breathing Room (to be continued…)